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Quotes Archive



SMITH: Tinker, you sold that invincible clockwork man to an evil queen.
TINKER: How do you know Evolda's evil?
SMITH: If her name wasn't a dead giveaway on the invoice under comments, she wrote mwahahaha.

— Lost in Oz


I AM CYNTHIA! I FLOAT LIKE A LEAF AND STING LIKE A NETTLE! ...Eh. Too vegetarian. Although it might lull the foe into a false sense of security...

— Cynthia, Fire Emblem: Awakening


That somebody should die after the continued howling of a dog is not a remarkable phenomenon; the remarkable phenomenon is the number of people who live after listening to many howlings.

— The Origins of Popular Superstitions and Customs by T. Sharper Knowlson [1910]


”Just my carelessness," said Anko. "I'd been away to foreign parts, seeing how the earth people were getting along. I found the Germans dancing the german and the Dutch making dutch cheese and the Belgians combing their belgian hares and the Turks eating turkey and the Sardinians sardonically pickling sardines. Then I called on the Prince of Whales, and—"
"You mean the Prince of Wales," corrected Trot.“

— L. Frank Baum. The Sea Fairies


„I can’t believe that!” said Alice.
“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

— Lewis Carroll. Through the Looking-Glass


“And you believe that?” said Sacharissa. “Really?”
“Er, no. No. Of course not. Not as such. But... but you can’t treat religion as a sort of buffet, can you? I mean, you can’t say yes please, I’ll have some of the Celestial Paradise and a helping of the Divine Plan but go easy on the kneeling and none of the Prohibition of Images, they give me wind. It’s table d’hote or nothing, otherwise... well, it would be silly.”

— Terry Pratchett. Going Postal


“I’d rather not try, please!” said Alice. “I’m quite content to stay here—only I am so hot and thirsty!”
“I know what you’d like!” the Queen said good-naturedly, taking a little box out of her pocket. “Have a biscuit?“

— Lewis Carroll. Through the Looking-Glass


"I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairytales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!“

— Lewis Carroll. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland


"Unfortunately," observed the Woozy, "none of us has wings. And we're in a magic country without any magic.“

— L. Frank Baum. The Lost Princess of Oz.


BUTTERCUP: "The Fire swamp! We'll never survive!"
WESLEY: "Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."

— Princess Bride


However, somebody killed something: that’s clear, at any rate—’

— Alice (Lewis Carroll. Through the Looking-Glass)


Things that would have made the fame of a less clever man seemed tricks in his hands. It is a mistake to do things too easily.

— H.G. Wells The Time Machine


'Cats don't have names,' it said.
'No?' said Coraline.
'No,' said the cat. 'Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names.'

— Neil Gaiman. Coraline


“I should have kept him to the end,” said Mrs. Oliver. “In a book, I mean,” she added apologetically.
“Real life’s a bit different,” said Battle.
“I know,” said Mrs. Oliver. “Badly constructed.“

— Agatha Christie. „Cards on the Table: A Hercule Poirot Mystery.“


”Who cares, anyhow?"
"I do!" cried the young man, interrupting his sobs to roll over, face upward, that he might see who had spoken. "I care, for my heart is broken!"
"Can't you get another one?"

— L.Frank Baum. Scarecrow of Oz


‘Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens,’ said Gimli.
‘Maybe,’ said Elrond, ‘but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall.’

— J.R.R. Tolkien. The Fellowship of the Ring


'If I can't be a hero I'll try to behave like one.'

— Edith Nesbit. The Magic City


Once again what everyone calls paranoia I call preparation.

— Reigh, Lost in Oz


"So tell me, are you going to struggle, or will you go peaceably to meet your doom?"

— Lyman Frank Baum.The Lost Princess of Oz


"I‘m a h’exceedingly rich merchant banker of Lithuanian h’extraction, wot’s got a wife, two kids, and an aging old mum to support,” the Toad confessed, tipping his hat over his eyes and sticking his thumbs into his waistcoat.
“I don’t believe a word of it,” said Penelope.
“Neither do I,” said Parrot. “A merchant banker, indeed. A Toad like you couldn’t add two and two together.”
“You don’t ‘ave to, if you’re a banker,” the Toad assured him. “ ’Onest, you don’t ‘ave to know mathematics and things. It’s just looking after people’s money for ‘em and telling them they can’t ‘ave it when they want it."

— Gerard Durrell. The Talking Parcel


Don't talk to me about gold plates – if you can see what the plate is made of the portions are too small.

— Nanny Ogg (Terry Pratchett. Nanny Ogg's Cookbook)

As Agatha Swanburne once said, “A conscience is like a treasure map. You must follow it to the very end, if you wish to profit from it!”

— Maryrose Wood. The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book VI: The Long-Lost Home

“Last come the Twins, who cannot be described because we should be sure to be describing the wrong one.”

— J.M. Barrie. Peter Pan (Peter and Wendy)

Cast one little spell that freezes the town, and suddenly you're the bad guy.

— Mama P., Just Add Magic

"Listen, my friend. Since the day I met Eve, I have met and known millions and millions of women. Women have sent me millions of men, and I have heard their stories. Millions of women have come to me of their own accord, and I have heard their stories… " he paused a moment, and added, "and I have never believed one of them. I have studied women intensively, I have studied them derisively, and I have studied them seriously. But Tydvil, believe me, I know I am no nearer to an understanding of them than when I began.“

— Erle Cox. The Missing Angel

We dwarves have a saying: “Be bold. But if things look grim, run away and be bold another day instead.”

— Final Fantasy IV.

'I should like to save the Shire, if I could – though there have been times when I thought the inhabitants too stupid and dull for words, and have felt that an earthquake or an invasion of dragons might be good for them.'

— J.R.R. Tolkien. The Fellowship of the Ring

“I will be frank, Lord Ashton. My estate in Plinkst is troubled. My crops do not grow. My serfs are unhappy.”
Beowulf, who had guessed that serfs were something like a cross between a servant and a peasant, asked, “Why are they unhappy?”
“Because they are serfs,” the captain said. “Is that not reason enough?”

— Maryrose Wood. The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book V: The Unmapped Sea

"It seems to me they must be more cowardly than you are if they allow you to scare them so easily."
"They really are," said the Lion, "but that doesn't make me any braver."

— Lyman Frank Baum.The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny?" "Make yourself at home?" "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

— Jim, Blazing Saddles

"But I'm a prisoner. I'm locked in, so that I can't get out," she pleaded.
"That's all right," said the Scarecrow. "You might be worse off, little Dorothy. Just consider the matter. You can't get drowned, or be run over by a Wheeler, or fall out of an apple-tree. Some folks would think they were lucky to be up there."

— L. Frank Baum. Ozma of Oz

Although St. Valentine's Day is only observed in a very few places in the United Kingdom, and tends towards a speedy disappearance, it is a custom which, for this reason, is specially worth notice...

— T. Sharper Knowlson. The Origins of Popular Superstitions and Customs, 1910

Ere entering upon the subject of Fossil Whales, I present my credentials as a geologist, by stating that in my miscellaneous time I have been a stone-mason, and also a great digger of ditches, canals and wells, wine-vaults, cellars, and cisterns of all sorts.

— Herman Melville. Moby-dick

'I can't help being alarmed,' said Lucy, slipping her free hand into Mr. Noah's, 'but I won't cry or be silly. Oh, I do wish Philip was here.'

'Most unreasonable of girl children,' said Mr. Noah; 'we are in danger and you wish him to be here to share it?'

— Edith Nesbit. The Magic City

The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about makin' other people feel worse and makin' a few bucks while you're at it.

— Bleeding Gums Murphy, The Simpsons: Moaning Lisa

As these two officials took their places, Dorothy asked:
"Why is the colander the High Priest?"
"He's the holiest thing we have in the kingdom," replied King Kleaver.
"Except me," said a sieve. "I'm the whole thing when it comes to holes."
"What we need," remarked the King, rebukingly, "is a wireless sieve. I must speak to Marconi about it. These old-fashioned sieves talk too much."

— L.Frank Baum. The Emerald City of Oz





"Things just happen. What the hell."
* Terry Pratchett. Hogfather


Welcome to my world. For the longest time I couldn’t think of right name for this place, so I left it without one. Amongst things you can find here are attempts of science fiction and fantasy stories, my collection of gods, bogeymen and monsters and also articles about things that had me interested, be it for a while or for years. (There is more of this, sadly not in English but in Czech, on www.fext.cz)



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