Everything is possible in Japan
“And my neighbour irritates me too. Just like Fester,” said Shorty, angrily shouting name of the least favourite teacher. He did so to make himself feel better, however this time there wasn’t that much negativity in his words. Shorty’s attention was swayed away by something else. It arrived few days ago in a slim package from the other side of the globe.
“Soon, I will show him,” said he with determination.
Bunch, his loyal partner in crime, grinned.
“Sure. And how exactly will you do it?”
The sun has already set and two of them were looking from a window at the moon. They were shuffling through the box to be sure that layer of foam balls and bubble-wrap doesn’t hide some issue of, hopefully, adult manga. The only thing they found was half of old newspapers and some rice wicker.
It was packed very well.
“According to Japanese legends every thing that lives for a hundred years comes to life. And this thing is originally Japanese,” proclaimed Shorty religiously, sweeping away rest of the junk to the floor, next to four and a half pairs of socks, few books and bunch coke bottles, to make space on the table for his now unwrapped package.
“Japanese stick?” asked Bunch just to be assured, because that thing in front of him looked really just like an ordinary wooden stick.
“There is one piece missing, but that’s fine. If everything goes right, this will suffice. I know what it is and when I know what it is, it is still what it is… don’t worry about it. This thing we have here is the real Japanese weapon. One… nearly one hundred years old.
“Dude it’s naginata, Japanese halberd.” explained Shorty.
It might be, however Shorty’s knowledge of Japanese culture was weaker the further that subject was from Akihabara.
“Tonight it will come to life, that’s certain, and I as its owner will be the one giving it orders!”
“Really? Giving orders? Even girls bullied you in elementary school.” warned him Bunch with grin in his face.
“Hey! You’re one step from getting onto my list.”
Bunch mumbled something about where he can shove that stick and insulted left the room. It was all just a pose. In fact he wanted to be ready for tomorrow, when they both will be washing away Shorty’s disappointment with alcohol.
Half-past nine. Bunch had overslept. Wrapped in his blanket he dropped on the cold floor in his bedroom and looked at his phone. Nothing. White cloud on Skype showed that Shorty is indeed offline. Same with Facebook. That was really strange. One hundred years of existence bring things to life. Bunch slowly began to believe it. Thanks to his own experiences he also knew that if it really is true, there for sure will be some unpleasant side effect. Isn’t there a curse that affects the owner of such thing? His imagination came with few other scenarios that would be fit for the next movie in Friday the 13th franchise. He must go to Shorty. Right now. Everything is possible in Japan, so why won’t this be as well.
“He’s by the Collier’s,” said friend’s mom with voice full of surprise and resignation. Bunch just stood there, recalling how mad was Shorty on his neighbour yesterday.
“He’s acting really weird,” she noticed his expression. “He swept entire house, from the cellar to the roof – then he forced himself next-doors,” she shook her head.
Bunch heard enough.
Shorty’s mother seemed alive (unless she was under some kind of oriental spell that turned her into a Japanese zombie of sorts), but she wasn’t the target. At least not the primary target.
“I’m just standing there while he is possibly, under the influence of some Japanese demon, slicing entire Collier's family into pieces,” this thought gave Bunch the courage to act.
He ran to the neighbouring house.
Suddenly, the door opened. Standing there was Shorty, from head to toe covered in sweat, holding something, that was covered by fence, thus couldn’t be recognized. He slowly turned his face to Bunch. His expression didn’t look fierce, actually he seemed tired.
“What about Japanese spells?” asked Bunch quietly.
“It worked. Just… it was no spear. And you were right. When I’m done here, I will stop by your house.”
Bunch was shocked. Yes, they had little fight yesterday… but this?
“That wouldn’t be necessary.” stuttered.
“I can’t help myself,” Shorty whined.
His body had to mind of it’s own.
“I have to do everything this thing had done for a hundred years. It’s terrible. I don’t know if I can survive even a hundred hours. You were right, as soon as it moved it went straight for me.” sighed Pivínek.
“And what was it if not halberd? Flagpole from some blood-stained banner?” asked Bunch with fear in his voice. He has to defend himself. But how?
The fluid that Shorty wiped of his forehead wasn’t blood. It was sweat.
"Things just happen. What the hell."
* Terry Pratchett. Hogfather
Welcome to my world. For the longest time I couldn’t think of right name for this place, so I left it without one. Amongst things you can find here are attempts of science fiction and fantasy stories, my collection of gods, bogeymen and monsters and also articles about things that had me interested, be it for a while or for years. (There is more of this, sadly not in English but in Czech, on www.fext.cz)
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